I suppose there comes a time in any parents life when the spare room (once known as the dumping ground for all that stuff you were going to sell, or the room mates stayed in after a night out) needs to be rearranged and made into a room for the families newest addition and become a nursery.
The option to volunteer up my office for the arrival of a much cuter and more adorable version of me was on the cards but I work from home and do need a space. Plus the back bedroom is full of junk and needs to be sorted out anyway. It’s been on the to do list for a while but I’ve been working on other DIY projects and it’s not really been a priority. Instead we just put all the crap in there we don’t want to deal with and hope some magic elves will sort all of that crap out or take it to the dreaded car boot sale and return with a bag of cash.
So Sarah has been looking at nursery ideas. She’s been trying to work out colour schemes and styles without knowing if it’s going to be a boy or a girl. This is proving difficult unless you love green or yellow. Perhaps I’ll decorate the room to look like a bag of cheese and onion crisps.
I like being creative so I’d love to have some input into decorating the room but Sarah has a real eye for colours, styles and what works. She’s already transformed our house into a home and helped many other people with their interior design. If it was down to me every room would be the same colour and and only have things in there you need.
If it’s not useful then it’s not necessary.
Having items in a room because ‘it looks nice’ is the equivalent of a boy racer modifying his car with thousands of pounds worth of kit, only to slow it down or get it to make that grinding noise when going over a speed bump. More stuff you have the more stuff you have to clean.
So we need to decide on a theme and a colour scheme. But there is so much to choose from. I don’t remember having much choice as a child. I remember some friends had football wallpaper or unicorns but that seem to be as far as the choices went. Perhaps unicorns playing football. See, both bases are covered.
Today you can have anything, elephants, giraffes, flowers, cars, pandas, birds, swirls, balloons and even custom made wallpaper and prints if you fancy zombies or Bourbon biscuits as a theme for your nursery
There also seems like there’s a lot to buy. Changing table and mat, new wardrobe (apparently the one already in the room is made for adult clothes isn’t any good “too big” or something), new drawers, blankets, pictures for the wall, dangly mobile thingy, storage units, a rug, wall prints and all decals, new carpet, lampshade, lamp and of course fluffy toys, bookcase, books, family framed pictures, nightlight, the full Britannica encyclopedias, the complete discography of the Beatles and a PS4 (so I can help out with getting the baby to sleep).
I hope Sarah gives birth to a pile of cash as well as a baby.
Perhaps I should get out a credit card in the babies name (once we have decided). This way I can help it build a credit rating as well as contribute to the already costly job of being a new born.
How good is a babies eye sight for the first six months anyway? I doubt very much they can even see that the walls have pictures of elephants on them, the lamp stand isn’t decorated to look like an African giraffe majestically eating leaves and the rug is in the shape of a dinosaur . Most of all, I really doubt that the first words out of the babies mouth will be “why doesn’t my bedroom carry a consistent theme throughout mummy? Dinosaurs and Giraffes?”.
Hey ho, I’m sure Sarah will be right and we will spend more time picking and choosing furniture for this one room than Buckingham palace before a major refurbishment.
So that brings me to my final thought (Jerry Springer step aside): Anyone looking to buy some old bedroom furniture? Hardly used, one careful owner.