June 20, 2017

Choosing a baby name

Choosing a baby Name

Having a baby is a an exciting time, especially if you have planned for one. Now you get to choose a baby name. One thing you do have control over.

There is a lot to think about when having a baby, and probably a lot I won’t think about until faced with that challenge, but at the moment we are still caught up in the fun bits. Picking a baby name is one of those things. We have been thinking about baby names before we even started trying for a baby.

Now we are pregnant we need a name for the baby as the clock is ticking. Something to call it other than ‘it’. Until now it’s been called Peanut and bump. 

Picking a name is a slippery slope. You want a name that is going to reflect the person you want your child to be so you can’t just jump in head first (unlike a lot of the idiots on Wipeout). You need to think this through. 

There is a set of unwritten rules you need to follow when picking a baby name.

CHOOSING A BABY NAME (the unwritten rules):

  1. You want a name which none of your friends have.
  2. Can’t be a name associated to anyone bad (Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter are no go areas for obvious reasons).
  3. You don’t want a name which opens your child up to bullying. (see the next two points).
  4. You want to stay away from names which sound like your surname. For example if your surname is Bell don’t call your little girl Mel.
  5. Avoid anything which makes up a stupid name when put together with your surname.  If your surname is Cup don’t call your son Dick!
  6. Avoid comedy names. Don’t call your child Daley (after the decathlon champion Daley Thompson) if you are unfortunate enough to have the Surname Gaylord.

The Perception of a name

A name conjures up images of what that person will be before you even meet them. A name can strike fear in to the heart of people or let people think you are a sandal and sock wearing fool who has a phobia of Tupperware. For example Darth Vader wouldn’t have been as scary if his name was Larry Greenbottom and do you think James Bond would have shared his bed with so many stunning women if his name was Bernard Flapjack.

Bernard: The names Flapjack. Bernard Flapjack.

Woman: Knob off you perv.


Axel Thunderslash and Graham Box.

Two names I just made up.

Now which one of those do you think is a rockstar of epic proportions, can catch a tiger and drinks bleach as an antidote for heart burn? And which one likes sandwiches with no crusts, lives at home with his mum in his 40s and considers a late night to be watching back to back episodes of Downtown Abbey until 11:15?

A name determines how you are seen before you are seen.

A name opens and closes doors, but more than that it’s your label for life. It’s on your passport, it’s on your driving licence and people will be shouting it across the street to get your attention. I doubt your friends will be shouting ‘Oi! Sugarpuff Candyfloss!’ to get you to come and sit with them. They’d probably just let you go by.

Your Surname

You also need to take in to consideration your surname. If your surname is Cockburn I beg of you not to call your child Ivor or if your surname is Master don’t call your child Jedi and with a Surname like Macdonald I pray for your childs’ sanity that you don’t opt for the name Ronald. Yeah, it might seem funny at the time (if you’re drunk) and it will make for a good laugh at school, but as soon as your child hits 16 they will be running down to the deedpoll department and changing it to something less ridiculous, like Fraggle.

Non Traditional

Apple - Baby Name idea

Apple – Baby Name idea

You could always go outside the box when naming a child. Chris Martin from Coldplay did this with his daughter and called her Apple and Kanye West called one of his children North. North, West (as if they won’t have enough to talk about with their therapist already).

Personally if you think calling your child Frutella Lemonpip Spinachweave is going to help them connect with other people in society and propel them on to any level of success, you are mad. They are more likely to end up dressed in a leopard print leotard dancing for peace outside your local town hall.

My Thoughts On Baby Names

So as we are going through the list of names it becomes apparent I like the traditional names. Henry and George for a boy and for a girl, Anna and Emily but I also quite like more unconventional names such as Carson, Elon and Esmay (last one for a girl).

When Sarah comes up with name suggestions I tend to associate it to people I know. If that person is a knob head that is the deciding factor as to whether it makes the short list.  In light of this. it’s surprising I know so many knob heads! 

Typical conversion with Sarah about what to name our child:

Sarah: How about Jamie for a boy?

Me: No. I know a Jamie and he’s a knob head.

Sarah: What about Judy?

Me: No. The other kids will say “don’t be moody Judy”. What about Odin?

Sarah: Odin?

Me: yeah. He was the Norse god of war.

Sarah: I don’t think so.

Me: Randy for a boy and Sandy for a girl?

Sarah: Be serious.

Me: Ermintrude?

Sarah gives me a look. 

Me: Frankenstein?

Sarah leaves the room.

Me: Zeus? Thor? Napoleon? 

And then we end up back to square one. 

While watching TV Sarah is even suggestion names she sees in the credits or characters in the shows. Just so you know we have ruled out Heisenberg.

So as you can see it’s a long drawn out process which seems to be happening daily. 

If you have any suggestions or want to share with me how you picked your child’s name then comment below. I’m finding this a slow and drawn out process so any help would be great fully received.

Apple Image provided by Designed by Freepik

6 Comments on “Choosing a baby name

June 21, 2017 at 2:26 pm

If it’s having your surname and it’s a boy, please call it Ivor!! Genius! Sounds a bit like a character from Trumpton or Camberwick Green! (Showing my age now!!!!!)

Happy name hunting!

Ps, say Hi to Sarah from me!

June 21, 2017 at 2:34 pm

Hahaha!I’m not sure we’ll stick with Ivor but I’ll add it in the mix and you can explain why our son or daughter ended up with that name! 🙂

June 22, 2017 at 1:15 am

Hi Martin, thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂

I think you’ve pretty much got a handle on this naming thing, although you did forget to be wary of initials. For example if your last name is Smith, I’d definitely rule out Abigail Sophia!

As someone with a son named Atlas, I probably wouldn’t actually rule out Thor or Zeus, but that’s just me 🙂

What I did find though is that sometimes it’s a good idea to let a new name sit with you for a while before ruling it out. I didn’t immediately love Atlas, but after a few months of thinking about it (and seeing lots of positive comments about it online – plus it’s one of my most popular posts) I realised it absolutely felt right for us. Luckily my husband agreed with me when I suggested it to him! And we didn’t tell friends or family what we’d chosen beforehand so their opinions wouldn’t sway us either way. It was a nice secret between just us for a while.

If you have an idea of what kind of style you like that may make your search a bit easier. Some couples find it helpful for each parent to write down their own list of names independently, then compare lists to see if you have any overlaps, or to see if there are any types of names that work for both of you so you can search for more names that are like those that you both agree on. For example, you might find that you both like boys names ending in “er”, or with an “oh” sound in it, or mean strong etc.

Good luck! Looks like you’re both giving it a lot of thought so I’m sure whatever you choose will be great 🙂

June 22, 2017 at 10:01 am

Hi Brooke, thanks for your feedback. Hadn’t considered the initials problem! Love the name Atlas as well. That one is now added in to the mix. 🙂

June 23, 2017 at 7:16 pm

Just remember that you will be punished by your child(ren) – it is inevitable – so, even though you will probably try and avoid names that may seem silly or callous, there are some good ones out there that are subtle enough to be used as ammunition or payback during times of wanting to put them back in the womb (at the age of 2-3 with me at present and probably at the age of 10-30). A good, traditional name that springs to mind, that I wish I went with with my son, is Dick, sorry – I meant Richard… Keep it in mind, it’s a good one!

That aside, try to avoid names starting with M for a boy or S for a girl… From experience, it’s a pain in the bum having to wait for your post to be handed over to you weeks after you’ve noticed it come through the letter box, especially if your dad is a lazy letter opener and works away from home a lot and you know there’s something important coming that you can’t possibly wait for!!!

They probably won’t go opening the post anyway but you don’t want them to miss out on that time-sensitive and potentially life changing multimillion dollar investment opportunity from an African Prince-in-waiting. Also, when they’re 18, you probably don’t want to be opening a lovely letter from the NHS to say they’re still awaiting a secondary sample of some degree for the STI test they requested after their holiday to Mageluf!

June 26, 2017 at 4:59 pm

Damn! I whole list of other things I have overlooked. Never even consider the initials problem causing havoc with the post and if that prince in waiting wants me to help relieve him of his cash then I should be allowed first dibs on such a great opportunity.

Good thinking Mr Harvey and just as a side note, Dick is now added in to the possible list of names. I’ll make sure he thanks you for that!


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